Caution: God Content.

Some of you know that I've been struggling a lot lately with my faith. Specifically, that I had none. I didn't know what was out there, but I found the notion of the traditional God and Jesus Christ to be far-fetched.

But lately, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, prompted by the realization that so many of my friends had so much joy in their relationship with the being they believed to be God. And I wanted that joy, so I sought out that relationship.

It's not been easy; after talking with the sister missionaries, and praying, and studying the scriptures, I felt nothing. So I fell back into complacency, and ignored the promises I had made to the sisters.

Then, 3 weeks later, they showed up at my door.

Crap.

We spoke again, and I voiced my frustrations. After chatting with them, and them somehow making me promise to go to church (blech) I felt even more frustrated.

But I did as they asked, and read conference talks, and read my scriptures. I listened to Rob Gardner's music, and bought his latest CD, as his music sparked my search last time. Yet I still felt very little.

Still, I had promised the sisters I would be at church on Sunday, and I wasn't prepared to break a promise again. So I woke up Sunday morning dreading the thought of church, but I'd asked my friend to come with me, so that made me feel better.

I get to church, walk in, and the sisters are surprised as all get out that I'm there...

Rude.

So I sit down, and rather than feeling uneasy, as I expected, I felt comfortable, at peace. I felt like being there was the most natural thing in the world. And then Maddi got there (LATE) and sat with me, and of course we joked around, but in a reverent-ish way?

Anyway, the first girl to speak was super nervous, and she had horrid grammar, but it felt like her talk was exactly what I needed to hear. I had never felt that before...

Gospel Principles was all about the holy ghost, which I also needed. 2/2. After church, I felt happy, and I knew I was headed the right direction, but I was still unsure.

Then this morning, I had what is undoubtedly the biggest spiritual experience of my life.

I was listening to Rob Gardner's song "There Are Angels", which has gorgeous music. But I decided to focus on the words.

"Every Shepard know the names of all his sheep.

And not one can come to harm while in his keep

But when they wander from their keeper, who is there to hold them near

Do they know there is no reason for their fear?

For there are angels watching o'er the Shepard's sheep.

To warm them in the night, and guard their sleep.

And there are angels to hold them through the rain

To guide them safely to the fold again.

If from his nest a sparrow cannot fall

Unnoticed by the Shepard of us all

Can it be that he's forsaken you through the hardships you have known

Do you know that you will never walk alone?

For there are angels watching o'er the Shepard's sheep.

To warm them in the night, and guard their sleep.

And there are angels to hold them through the rain

To guide them safely to the fold again."

 And as I listened, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and love, more immense than anything I've ever felt before. And I had no doubt that I experienced the presence of something, someone greater than myself.

And I wept tears of joy.

It felt like the savior put His arms around me, and let me know He's been there along as I suffered, and He suffered with me, and waited until the right time to wrap me in His embrace. I can't explain the mix of emotions I'm feeling: joy and sorrow and peace, but I'm terrified, but calm. I'm happy, but I'm afraid, because I know how easy it is to get complacent, and to fall back into my old ways, because it's easy
to ignore those small feelings, and those little promptings, and to do the things you want to do because they make you "happy".

But they don't.

And I'm not trying to be preachy, I hate being "preached" at. But I know what I'm doing now, this path I'm on is making me happy, and I wasn't before. And it may not work for you, and that's okay, because you have the right to believe in whatever you wish, and to think your own, personal thoughts, and to judge people based on their beliefs, if you think that's okay.

I just want you to be happy. To be truly happy, like I feel right now. And you may find your joy in another way, and think my route to happy is wrong.

But I'll still love you, as the Savior loves us all. (if that's what you believe)

So that's my story, for now. I pray only that I'll continue along this path, and expand this joy, and grow closer to God, and take my joy from Him, and find shelter from grief, and pain in Him. That I can serve my purpose here on earth, and join Him again when the time is right.

And I'm happy.

369.2

First things first,

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!

I'm thankful for my family, and friends, for music (especially this beast of a voice I've got growing inside me :D) and for having the entire weekend with no obligations :D

Oh, and I'm also thankful for weighing less than 370 pounds for the first time in..... well, I can't remember when. I am now 369.2 pounds, and I have no problem telling you that, because 1 week ago, I weighed 379.5 pounds :D

I think this time, I'm going to be able to stick it out. It's going to take time, but I finally realize the benefits far outweigh the negatives. I must say I'm looking forward to being small... well, not small, thinner. Even at my ideal weight, I'm going to be a big guy. Being 6'5" will do that to you. I think I might actually look intimidating, which will be exciting. I should get a job as a bouncer...

Anywho, other than that awesome news, my life is going pretty swell. I kind of had a mini meltdown yesterday because of all of the things I have going on right now, but I came out of it learning two lessons:

1. I need to manage my time better

2. I need to stop taking on more than I can chew.

I'm currently preparing for at least 4, if not 5 concerts, as well as a Christmas show and juries. It's a lot of music, but I can handle it.

Probably.

Okay, so I'm going to geek out here for a maximum of 2-3 paragraphs, and maybe some pictures....

SKYRIM!!!

I'm more than positive that most of you out there, reading this (about 4 of you, I'm guessing) have someone in your life that has been mysteriously absent the last few weeks. And I'm willing to bet that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is to blame. And I don't blame them, because it is an AMAZING game.

That's my character in the mask, he's a beast. The chick in the armor is Lydia, my housecarl, also a beast. What can i say, we're BAMF's.

I foresee myself spending far too much time this weekend getting lost in the land of Skyrim.... In fact...it's calling to me now.....Farewell.

D-Day

It's D-Day.

D for Diet, that is.

I had decided I want to lose weight, not just because I want to be healthier, but mostly for my voice. I have a feeling that if I were to lose a good amount of weight, my voice would be a lot better.

Anywho, after I had decided this, my dad told me about something his friend from church was doing, so I went over to his house on Saturday, and we talked about it. He's been on it a week, and lost 7 pounds, an inch at the waist, an inch at the belly, and an inch at the chest. So, long story short, I wanted in.

So now, I'm in. I'm really hoping to lose more than a pound a day though, and I know it can be done, because I've done it before. The problem with what I did before was that I ate nothing but salad, chicken, and tuna for 2 weeks. Sure I lost 35 pounds, but I also lost a wee bit of my mind in the process. However, I really think this is something I will be able to stick to without going insane, as it doesn't limit what I can eat. So there is that.

Also, I had a really good lesson today. I finally started to understand how I can get my high notes without pushing, which is excellent. It means I can get clearer, more accurate high notes using less breath. In short, it makes me sound like a beastly god of awesomeness.

You'd enjoy it.

You know what I enjoy? My vocal coach telling me that I have potential. I usually don't see it as much as he does, but he believes in me, and I believe in him, so there is that.

I have 4 concerts coming up in December, and I'm dang excited for every one of them. Well, technically 3, but in one of them, I am in 2 different groups, so there is that. <<<<

ALSO!!!!!!!!

I am going to be in an awesome Christmas show being Music Directed by my friend Tracie. I'll be singing 2 solos, a duet, and have a feature in "O Holy Night" which is going to be awesome. It's also going to be in Show Low, so that will be really fun :D

A few days ago, I finished my small group service project at Boys and Girls Club, which was a lot more enjoyable than I thought it would be. It started out rough, but it was actually a really good experience. I think helping during the homework hour was my favorite part, and not only because the girl who supervised it is extremely cute....... ;) Met some cool guys that work there, Dylan and Jordan, and basically just hung out with them the last 2 hours of each day. Overall, not a bad experience (did I mention the super cute girl????)

Btw, interjecting for a moment, I love when people put "No copyright infringement intended" on youtube videos that are definitely in breach of copyright. That's like saying, "Well you know judge, I didn't mean to murder him, honest." See how that works for ya.

I think that is it for now, see you kids later.

-Taylor.

Glad That's Over...

So, the show has officially come to an end. I'm torn on the issue, because on one hand, I have free time and time to let my voice rest. On the other, I totally miss my castmates, because they were and are amazing. Love you guys :D

Moving on.

So now that I have free time again, I've been able to rest my voice, and start singing, like REALLLY singing again, which is amazing. I was singing a song in Diction the other day, and I hit the E above middle C, and it was the best note I've ever sung. It was completely open, and felt amazing. Oh...the power my voice can have sometimes......

You'd enjoy it.

I've been doing that a lot, putting little one liners from the show into everyday speech. It makes me miss the show a little less every time.

Oh, I went to the Boys & Girls Club the other day to do my service project for communication. It was....interesting. We handed out snacks while the kids were coming in, then we helped then with homework until 5. And then....we sat. For an hour and a half. Watching kids play basketball. It was alright. I've got to go back tomorrow, which is going to be interesting. Agan.

I've realized that since I'm in the show no longer, my life isn't all that exciting. Although, Cantilena is going to be doing a concert before the press performance of Broadway Palm's "A Christmas Carol" next Friday. It's going to be pretty sweet. OOOOH! And I get to wear a top hat :D

So that's cool.

Hmm...... I got nothing else to say, so I'll play you out with a song...... How about........ This!

Shrek

Okay, the title says it all. I've officially added the role of Shrek from "Shrek The Musical" to my list of dream roles. mostly because of this song

Yeah, good stuff.

Oh, so my top 5 in case you were wondering are:

1. Shrek

2. Beast from "Beauty and the Beast"

3. Gaston

4. Javert from "Les Mis"

5: Horton from "Seussical"

Honorable mentions include Tevye from "Fiddler", as well as....um....someone from 1776. Maybe Ben Franklin.

Anywho, onto other things.

(looking back, Shrek seems like a misleading title, considering that it won't make up even a small majority of the post.... oh well)

Okay, so rehearsals = Awesome. The show is really going to be awesome. Not going to lie, I'm really looking forward to being the last person to bow for the first time ever.

If you followed that, congrats. If not, read slowly.

Anyway, I don't mean to sound conceited, but damn is that exciting. I'm also looking forward to the long laugh breaks that are sure to ensue when William or Nathan are on stage. Holy crap, those are 2 of the funniest guys I've ever had the pleasure of working with. And Nathan can sing like no ones business, it's like hot butter on toast.

Okay, against my better judgement, I'm bringing this up. And don't think I'm racist or anything, I love my black friends, but have you ever noticed that people of color have a "white" voice and a "black" voice? Seriously, give a black man or woman a song they can soul up, and rip into, and you will hear a very african-american sound. It is incredible, I love it.

Also,

There is a magical scale that only black people have access to. This sounds weird, but honestly, watching Nathan do runs is a magical experience. If I ever wanted to copy one of his amazing runs, I would have to write it down, and practice it for a few years. It's incredible.

Btw, DISCLAIMER: (this should really be above the previous comments.....) I'm not a very serious person, in that I don't take much seriously. I hate people that take everything seriously, and are wound up far too tight. So, I make jokes, and say things that other people may find offensive, but I have no intention of coming off that way.

If you want to be my friend, live with it.

Still there? Still love me?

Good, moving on.

I dropped Cinema. At first, I didn't really mean to, and then I realized I enjoy that class when I don't have to do any of the ridiculous work involved. And I never do that work, so I don't mind dropping it. I'd prefer to keep my GPA, thank you very much.

Umm.... I suppose I have nothing else for now. You kids go have fun.

Stumble Throughs and...other such fun things...

Hey, how's it hanging everybody? I just thought I'd ask you how you are before I started rambling on about myself.

....

Since you don't seem to have anything to say, I'm moving on. Cool?

Cool.

Alright, so Wednesday was our first stumble through of the show, and it was kinda rough, but also kinda fun. Today was our "designer run" (the set designer, costume designer, lighting designer, sound... you get the picture) and it went a WAY more smoothly than wednesday, which is good. I'm actually more memorized than I thought I was, which is always good. Also, we load our set into the theatre tomorrow, which is both good and bad.

It's good in that it will be super fun.

It sucks because I'll be there at 8 am. That is an ungodly hour. I've usually been asleep for 4 hours TOPS by the time that rolls around.

Whatever, let's move away from the show stuff. On to bigger and better things....

Well, not really. I've just always wanted to say that... And now I have.

Let's continue, shall we?

But first....

DUBSTEP

(I told you I'd lie to you again)

And now that you're listening to that great song, we shall continue....finally.

I sang in studio today, which was fun, as usual. I also brought my camera to record it in the hopes of showing you all my epic awesomeness.

However,

Today, my supply of both epic and awesome were running low, so I doubt you'll ever see that video. but you can dream.

But, if you must know, I sang "Stars" from Les Mis. It was decent for sure, above most people's level of par, but not my greatest by any means.

....That sounded conceited, but it wasn't. I just hold myself to a higher standard, because I'll have to if I want to do this professionally. Which I do.

Oaky, 2 things.

1: That wonderful song from above just ran out, so I'm posting another....let's see.....

Stars by Taylor_Hudson

There. That's a quick recording I did a few days ago, because I know you were all dying to see it. Or, you know.....hear it.

DUDE! What if you could see with your ears, and hear with your eyes?

I know, I'm shutting up.

UGH!

I just remembered I have a paper due in cinema on tuesday. Which sucks, because that class is lame. You think "Hey, this class is going to be cool, all watching movies and talking about them and junk." Which it is, minus the cool part. I'm not a big fan of teaching by the book, and by that I mean giving a kid a book and saying "Read. Learn." It's a terrible way to teach, in my humble (correct) opinion. If you want me to know something that will be on a test, you sure as hell better tell me about it in person, or you're wasting my money, and your time.

/Endrant.

Oh, yeah. I said there would be 2 things up there, and I never told you the second.... I go on tangents sometimes, it's how I roll.

Okay, so 2: I lied about not talking about the show again in the post..... which I'm now pretty sure I never actually said..... whatevs.

So basically, by the end of today's rehearsal, I looked like I had run a marathon. There was a band of sweat going around my shirt, which is not attractive when there are attractive ladies in the room (Did that make you feel uncomfortable? Cause it made me uncomfortable. However, I'm leaving it in here, because if I wanted you to think highly of me, I'd hire somebody to make up awesome things about me.)

So back to rehearsal. Or the show, really, because I'm kind of finished with today's rehearsal...for now. Anywho, the costume I'm going to be wearing basically consists of thick, thermal-like pants, a matching shirt, and a tunic that goes over top which somehow breathes even less than the pants and shirt. What does this mean for you at home, viewers?...

Absolutely nothing.

However,

It does mean that I will be absolutely roasting on stage. If you come to the show (which you should, or we aren't friends anymore. Yeah, I'll go the emotional abuse route) and you smell a faint hint of delicious bacon wafting towards you, don't get your hopes up, There is no bacon, it's just me sweating my a$$ off for your entertainment.

So enjoy it.

You know, I wonder if anyone actually reads this, but I don't know that I care. It's actually quite cathartic (spelled right first try, hells yeah) and I enjoy it.

Well, I think that is about it for now. I guess I'll be going then......

Will you miss me? Cause I'll miss you........

(I love you)

Comedy Tonight

Quick note before we get into the meat of this post: I've yet to decide on a clever naming scheme for this blog, so for the time being, song titles from the show I'm in will have to do.

Okay folks, now that the business is out of the way, time for the pleasure......that sounds wrong....

Whatevs

So, the show is going pretty well so far. Rehearsals are great fun as usual, and I finally got to stage my favorite song in the musical, "Lovely Reprise". It is literally going to be the funniest song in the show, in my humble (read: correct) opinion. The guy I sing it with is HILARIOUS!

(but he still hasn't accepted my friend request, #insecure)

What's that you say? I can't use a hashtag in a blog post? Well I just did.

Deal with it.

In other (related) news, I went into the shop this morning with Brit, Nathan, and Heather and spent a good 4 hours on the set, which is kinda coming together.

There should be a picture there of the platform we built today. But it isn't.

Blogspot fail

Anywho, the platform was basically already built, we just made the legs, and put all but one of them on. We then had to take this platform, with it's 10 foot tall lags, and put it upright. It was fun.

Btw, I've realized that posting facebook statuses late at night pretty much guarantees that few people are going to actually see it, and fewer are going to respond by way of comment, liking, disliking etc.

That's a song we're working on for Cantilena, a chamber choir I'm in. It's legit. Eric Whitacre is insane, but I kinda like his stuff.

So, about choirs. I'm in 2, Cantilena and the day choir, more formally known as Red Mountain Chorale. To be honest though, I'm kinda sick of the day choir. It was fun when I first started singing, but now I'm kind of bitter about it. I don't really like the music, and it's 4 hours of singing a week my voice doesn't need right now. I really need to either jump back in after the show for the Christmas music, or just drop it. Dr. Bennett won't like it, but I need to do what's best for me, right?

Right.

Huh, I just realized that Dr. Bennett is my facebook friend, and as I intend to post this on facebook, he might see it. Oh well.

Doc, we need to chat when you get back.

By the way, how was your daughter's wedding?

Good?

Great.

Moving on.

Those are known as "Reincarnations" and they are a BEAST to sing. We worked on the last one ("The Coolin" for a good hour in Cantilena yesterday.)

It's intense.

Okay, enough about music.

Wait, not yet.

I'm listening to the video above, and it just hit "Anthony O'Daly", which is pretty cool. Mostly because the basses sing "An-tho-ny" for half the song, on the same pitch. I think I was on facebook on my phone for that half yesterday in rehearsal lol.

Now no more music. I promise.

I lied. Well.... kinda. Wow, the end of this song sounds like Jaws. It's intense.

Fun fact, you can apparently be so tired, that you look at the clock on your phone, and even though it says 10:09 fairly clearly, you are still convinced it's 4 in the morning. and then you wonder why your sister and her boyfriend are still making out in the next room.

Kids these days.

Anyway, I think that's it for now. I know, your thinking "Are you sure?"

I know, I betrayed your trust up there.

Like twice.

I promise I won't do it again.

But hell, you know better than that.

Goodnight.